|The subject of this article is Bungie Lore; one of the many myths, legends, and easter eggs that have been created by Bungie.|
"Who is The Webmaster? Take a good sniff. One common misconception about the Webmaster is that he is a Gorilla. Even Mr. Magoo could tell, at some distance, he's no gorilla. Merely a man in a gorilla suit. With a cowboy hat. Why is a question for a different time, but the Webmaster wears his hairy mantle with pride and simian satisfaction, and naturally, takes no offense to being called a 'monkey'.
The Webmaster's primary purpose has been, and will be gain, to answer reader letters at an admittedly glacial pace, and the Webmaster came into being in Nineteen Oatcake. He simply popped into existence, squirted from the ether like soap from a prison shower.
But the Webmaster has another, more nefarious purpose. One that will not be revealed until it is too late. For you all."
Answering LettersEdit"The Webmaster is a cantankerous, beer-addled misfit who wears a gorilla suit and expecting sensible, polite answers from him is akin to gouging out your own eyes with frozen carrots. If you are easily offended, or frankly, if you are difficult to offend, then you should consider leaving now."
Leave of AbsenceEdit
The Webmaster was missing for almost a two year period, his only excuse being "I was taking a pee-break."
The Webmaster was first brought to attention in 1996, when the first batch of letters to the Webmaster were answered. Of course, long before this he was referenced, as he has a nasty habit of messing around with the server, screwing with code, and going on drinking binges for long periods of time.
Only a few things are known about the Webmaster;
- He is a man wearing a gorilla suit and a cowboy hat
- He is currently in a drinking contest with Yoozel
- He is almost always drunk, or in the process of becoming drunk
- He enjoys screwing around in the server room, 'tripping' over cables, and changing Achronos' code.
Some rumors going around the community are that the Webmaster is also Achronos, who uses "The Webmaster did it" as an excuse for every time something goes wrong. Some have also speculated that the original Webmaster was Matt Soell, and was replaced when Soell left Bungie; but this is heresy, as there is only one Webmaster.